Flapjack Joins Fightclub
by Broski224
Summary: Oh me oh my, silly crossover generator.


Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining **Fight Club** and **Flapjack**. The story should use **rape** as a plot device! 

"Why, Knuckles, why don't we join that new Adventurer's Club? You know, _Fight Club_." Flapjack asked excitedly; he'd just heard of this marvelous, exclusive "Adventurer's Club" and suddenly, it seemed better than all the other clubs combined. After all, they were _real_ adventurers, people of the Fight Club.

"First of, you don't talk about it, boy. That's one of their _rules_. Secondly, it ain't as new as it sounds! Why, when I was your age, _I_ was part of that club!" Knuckles grunted. He wasn't in the mood for the boy's whimsical ideas today, _especially_ if the invovled _that_ club.

"You _were_?" Flapjack asked in awe. "Tell me about it, Captain." He said humbly, his eyes large with awe and love. He'd never be the man Knuckles was, _never_, but hearing about his adventures was enough for him.

"Alrigh', boy. But it ain't a happy story, or a story for _babies_. It's a _man's_ story. Are you sure you can handle it?"

"I am sure, my Captain." Flapjack whispered as he sat himself on a crate.

"Alrigh'... Well, I was about your age, like I said, when the Fight Club _first_ came to Stormalong..." Knuckles began as he drifted into one of his flashbacks.

"See, back then, there wasn't no law in Stormalong. No Dock Hag, nothin'. And we didn't have no _doctor_ either! Only _real_ men became Adventurers, because they knew that if they got hurt, that was it, boy. No second chances. I ain't one of those pansy chickenshits, so when the Fight Club came here, I signed up right away.

"Now, they didn't really want me. Said I was too young, not fit enough! But what did they know? I was _twice_ the man the lot of 'em were together! 

"Well, they finally let me in. The first night I was there, they made me fight the biggest, meanest brute they had! Probably tryin' to get rid o' me before I learned the ropes, 'cause they was all too scared of me! But, I beat him! I didn't get one scratch on me, boy! Every day for weeks, I fought man after man! Once, I even fought a shark! A MANLY shark!

"That is, 'til they ran outta people to send me. Everyone was either bein' taken care of by their mommies or they was sleepin' with the sharks."

"And the fish, and the whales, Captain. And the _mermaids_." Flapjack whispered.

"Yes, boy. And the... _mermaids_. As I was sayin', though, they ran outta men. Then they sent me children 'n then women! Can you believe it? Finally, they all ganged up on me, kicked me out. They was _scared_ I'd just kill 'em all!

"So, no boy. We can't join that club. They aren't man enough for your ol' Captain Knucky. Not man enough _at all_. They ain't even real adventurers. I mean, where they been their entire lives? Fightin' in some old woman's basement?"

"I don't know how I was fooled, Captain." Flapjack whispered as he got off his crate.

"Now then, why don't we go to the Candy Barrel? See what Peppermint Larry's up to and forget all about that _pansy_ club."

But, Flapjack didn't forget about the club. Instead, he began telling everyone about Knuckles' fights there, and how afraid everyone was of him. That night, he even told Bubby, who said, 

"Oh child, you can't believe everythin' that silly ol' Knuckles said. He probably was too scared to join himself, so he's makin' all those _real_ adventurers sound like fools."

"Does that mean I can join?" Flapjack shouted excitedly.

"No, honey. It doesn't. I shouldn'ta said that. Now you'll want to join again, and it's far too dangerous. Now you go to bed, okay?" The whale told him, desperately trying to make him forget about joining the club again.

Of course, the lure of danger would probably only make his desire stronger, something she knew and something Knuckles knew as well.

That night, the dreams came back to Knuckles. The horrible, horrible dreams. He _had_ tried to join the club when he was a boy and they _hadn't _wanted him. But they never changed their minds, they never let him fight, and even if he had, he knew he wouldn't of won against the sort of man that joined the club.

Instead, they'd told him they'd take him to their _junior_ Fight Club and led him down a back-alley between two deserted old houses. There they'd done _terrible_ things to him, things that made it impossible for him to sit for weeks, things that no amount of maple syrup would ever make go away.

Every time he shut his eyes, the day flashed back to him, fresh and raw like it had been twenty years ago. It kept him awake most of the night and by time he fell asleep, it was almost morning. He had no chance of waking up before Flapjack at that point, no chance to stop the young boy from going to the club, and probably making the same mistake he made. A mistake that, twenty years later, probably had the same punishment.


End file.
